President Trump spoke at a fake news conference this fake morning, of dead John McCain: “I like people who don’t die. Or flip in their coffin. To be fair to me, It doesn’t make John McCain – can I call him John? – I’ll call him Jon – a hero in death just because he was captured by death. I like all those people that don’t die, ever. I have a guy that goes to McDonalds for me. Great guy. Great man. Never died. J McC was a great guy. Great man. Died. I think he APPRECIATES that despite their VAST differences, I will tell people to pull on ropes. Pull on those ropes so that the cloth thing flies somewhere not at the bottom, but not at the top, and wavers around the middle. Until my order gets sent to the second window.”

Senator McCain did not comment.

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