President Trump spoke at a fake news conference this fake morning, of dead John McCain: “I like people who don’t die. Or flip in their coffin. To be fair to me, It doesn’t make John McCain – can I call him John? – I’ll call him Jon – a hero in death just because he was captured by death. I like all those people that don’t die, ever. I have a guy that goes to McDonalds for me. Great guy. Great man. Never died. J McC was a great guy. Great man. Died. I think he APPRECIATES that despite their VAST differences, I will tell people to pull on ropes. Pull on those ropes so that the cloth thing flies somewhere not at the bottom, but not at the top, and wavers around the middle. Until my order gets sent to the second window.”

Senator McCain did not comment.

Thing That Sucks Right Now

My brain. It is completely failing me today when trying to write regexes in VIM to deal with escaped characters in PHP echoed fully-qualified, deep URLs.

Thing that sucks worse: My brain, for knowing what all those words mean and finding the situation funny.

This is a mock-up of what everything in the world looks like to my brain right now: \/\//\\/\/\/\\/\\/\\. If that means something to you, you have my pity. And you suck.


Carrie: “What are you drinking?”

Fred: “Capachuchuchuchu Tea. It helps clean out my tear ducts. It keeps my skin nice and dry. It tastes like soot and hot water.”

Carrie: “Well, it looks like a still birth.”

Fred: “I’m hooked.”

Carrie: “Addiction isn’t funny.”

Fred: “Sure it is.”

Enter Steve Buscemi.

Now I’m hooked too. Portlandia, on IFC starting January 21st.

Convergence And A New Hat

Bruce Schneier comments on this disturbing account, which is extra cool because the byline says it is from The Future.

Being able to record the police is one of the best ways to ensure that the police are held accountable for their actions. Privacy has to be viewed in the context of relative power.

Realistic, rational. Video/audio recordings by police and ride-along crews have made fortunes. Cameras are embedded everywhere now. Worst of all, how does one think it is possible to deploy the cone of silence between antagonists? “Here, put this on.”

“Um, no.”

Breast Implants

If you type the URL michaelchanorg (as I just did) in your web browser that is smart enough to try to fix your mistakes, leaving out the “dot” between michaelchan and org, the number one result on google is for breast implants, but not at my site! How cool is that? Boobies!

Help Us Name Our Coop, Maybe Win Free Hot Sauce

Penny, Daisy-Head Mayzie, and Layla (or Mickey if you ask Owen) are settling into their surprisingly involved and robust digs. I have scientifically measured the integrity of the structure by pushing on it really hard: wouldn’t budge.  While failing at budging, I told our friend Phil Schantz (awesome builder), “This thing is built like Fort Clucks.”

We thought to put a placard over the entrance naming it as such, but after a quick search I found someone — and likely many — with their own Fort Clucks.  I’m fine with that name, but I thought I would throw it into a hat with a bunch of other names I came up with and see what sticks. Please vote for the name you like best, or suggest your own in the comments.  A random participant will receive a bottle of habanero-mango Humboldt Hotsauce, made by our friend Cal Ferris. Yes, I’m sure it’s great with chicken.
[poll id=”3″]
Continue reading “Help Us Name Our Coop, Maybe Win Free Hot Sauce”

A Few Words On Looking For Things

Now, a few words on looking for things. When you go looking for something specific, your chances of finding it are very bad. Because of all the things in the world, you’re only looking for one of them. When you go looking for anything at all, your chances of finding it are very good. Because of all the things in the world, you’re sure to find some of them. — Daryl Zero

I can’t get that quote out of my head today.